the peaceful perfectionist

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EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

It's no news flash that I am an introvert.  But I seem to have been going through this mid-life crisis of sorts for a year or two now.  I've been very introspective and wanting to learn more about myself so I can live more authentically.  I'm not hiding any more, I've been sharing much more of myself than before.  But the fact remains that I'm an introvert, I need quiet and alone time. So now when I need to pull back and let myself refuel in quiet solitude, I do so without feeling guilty about it because I understand that it is a valid need of mine..

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I never could resist a good personality quiz so if you know of any, please share!  The following is an excerpt from Renee Swope's "A Confident Heart Devotional" which I started at the beginning of lent.  It's actually taken from Florence Littauer's book "Personality Plus" and I think it is incredibly accurate.  We all have aspects of each of these personality types but most people have one or two that they strongly identify with.

So take a gander at them for yourself.  Which one(s) are you?

Phlegmatic: Desires PEACE
Needs times of quiet, reduced stress, feeling of worth, respect
Strengths                  Relational Challenges
Calm                         Stubborn
Adds balance            Uninvolved
Witty                         Procrastinates
Low-key                   Unenthusiastic
Considerate               Hard to motivate
Reliable                     Denial
Makes peace            Careless

Choleric: Desires CONTROL
Needs appreciation for achievements, opportunity for leadership, participation in decisions
Strengths                 Relational Challenges
Problem solver         Opinionated
Decisive                   Workaholic tendency
Natural leader           Usurps authority
Good organizer         Insensitive
Task oriented           Arrogant
High energy             Manipulative
Excels in crisis          Has a hard time admitting their faults
Confident

Sanguine: Desires FUN
Needs interaction, affection, approval, attention
Strengths                  Relational Challenges
Loves people            Emotional
Friendly                    Dislikes schedules
Exciting                    Makes excuses
Humorous                Gets bored easily
Charming                 Loses track of time
Creative                   Takes on too much
Thrives on activity    Easily distracted
Great storyteller

Melancholy: Desires PERFECTION
Needs understanding, stability, support, space, silence

Strengths                 Relational Challenges
Works well alone      Easily depressed
Planner                     Lacks spontaneity
Organized                 Naively idealistic
Accurate                  Thrifty to extremes
Intuitive                    Doesn’t do well under pressure
Fair                          Perfectionist
Creative                   Hard to please
Empathetic               Discontent
Good with numbers


I am without a doubt a Phlegmatic Melancholy, or as I prefer to think of it....a peaceful perfectionist :)
The "strengths" that best describe me are makes peace, low-key, adds balance, planner, intuitive, fair, empathetic, and creative.  The list of relational challenges that best describes me are probably uninvolved, stubborn, thrifty to extremes, doesn't do well under pressure (I get just a wee bit crabby!), perfectionist, and easily depressed.  Perhaps that doesn't paint the prettiest picture but in all reality these are my instinctive behaviors.  Doesn't mean I can't modify them and that's what I'm working on.  I want to be more involved and relational with people but honestly it does not come naturally.

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  And I will leave you with a fun little coffee related personality quiz....I'm a latte : )

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will i ever do something great?

There's so much going on in my heart right now.  I've really been spending a lot of time in reflection and examination of my life and spirit.  One example of something heavy on my heart lately is my purpose. 

Who did God create me to be?
What are my God given gifts?
And how can I use them to glorify God?

Just can't stop with the sunsets at the hilltop homestead :)

For some reason I keep coming back to my job. Am I blessed to have it? Yeppers.  Does it provide for my family? Absolutely.  But does it make good use of my abilities?  Not so much.

I've been researching, and thinking, and doing a whole lot of praying about this.  I have so much more to contribute than what has been so far. With the vast reach of the internet and social media, I now see tons of people accomplishing great things and while it makes my heart happy to see so much of God's love being poured out by others, I tend to feel like I'm watching from the sidelines.

Then I ran across this devotion at Proverbs 31 Ministries.  Take a minute to read it and come on back.

It almost felt like I could have written the first part.  And then this statement truly hit me.

I was under the false impression that if God chose me to accomplish great things for Him, it would include an elaborate theme with plenty of fanfare. - See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/will-i-ever-accomplish-something-great/#sthash.yvXq79Qr.dpuf

"I was under the false impression that if God chose me to accomplish great things for Him, it would include an elaborate theme with plenty of fanfare."

I was under the false impression that if God chose me to accomplish great things for Him, it would include an elaborate theme with plenty of fanfare. - See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/will-i-ever-accomplish-something-great/#sthash.yvXq79Qr.dpuf

I was under the false impression that if God chose me to accomplish great things for Him, it would include an elaborate theme with plenty of fanfare. - See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/will-i-ever-accomplish-something-great/#sthash.yvXq79Qr.dpuf

While looking to use my gifts in a big way, I have been oblivious to how I am already using them on the ground level.  I am quite like the servant with one bag of silver in the Parable of the three servants.  How have I been handling the responsibilities He has already given me? I have been focusing on a big opportunity to use my gifts rather than the small ones I am presented with every day.  They may seem insignificant but nothing escapes the eye of our Lord.  Am I using my abilities to be the wife and mother God has called me to be?  The daughter/sister/friend He has called me to be?  How can I ask Him to use me for more if I do not seek out these His will for me in these quiet moments of routine?

So maybe using my gifts won't come in the form of a new career or business venture.  I must look first to how I am using my gifts within my own home.  Learning to have a heart of thanksgiving and obedience.  The difference we can make in our own homes should not be taken lightly.

May we choose peace when we just want to yell in frustration when our young ones test limits.

May we continually die to our own selfish desires and love on our husbands the way God directs...whether we feel like they deserve it in that moment or not.

May we strive to love each other unconditionally the way that Jesus loves us.

Our "something great" may be little in the eyes of others, but great indeed to our Father's eyes.

His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’

where's she been?

Yeah, it's been a little while since I posted.
Where've I been?
Aside from the normal goings on of life (which we'll get to) there has been a lot of analyzing and self-searching going on in this little brain of mine.  And if I'm totally honest, some insecurity too.  You know that lie where you think you need to have it all together to be worth sharing yourself with others?

Yeah, well I mistakenly buy into that from time to time but I'm always reminded that blogging is an outlet for me.  I don't always have something profound to say and that's ok.  This is my place to share my creative loves, my fragile soul and strengthening faith, as well as the little moments that I just don't want to forget.

On that note, here's little bit of what's been brewing at the "Hilltop Homestead" lately. Yep, I've dubbed the new place.  A little idea I stole from my sweet friend Amanda that I'm blessed to have "met" through blogging.  You should go check out her "half-acre-home-on-the-range" and "happy foods" garden over at Chaos and Coffee.

To say we love our new place is a bit of an understatement.  I am obsessed with the fields and skies that I am now blessed to see every day.  The only downfall of our new home is the wind, man it really whips living on the top of a hill!  The crazy disheveled hair it gives me is a small price to pay and Hubsy always liked me in a baseball cap anyway :)

Barns *sigh* I just love 'em!

My favorite field.

Sun setting right through the hole of a dilapidated barn....gorgeous.

The busyness of life has picked up a bit again as we head into spring which means Hubsy will be working all.the.time.  Boo.  These months are hard on us but we do our best to get through them, making memories where we can.

Sometimes a quick card game before bed helps us to unite as a family at the end of the day.

A little adventuring helps too - our first Geocaching experience - we're hooked!

Making our mark to make our new house a home.

Life is a cycle of resting and working, dreaming and growing. The secret is to treasure all of it!

Make it a great week friends ~ There is much to be thankful for and hopeful about!

not for me but for You

One of the greatest seasons us upon us.  No not Spring, not in Pittsburgh yet at least ;)  But that of the season of Lent which leads up to the ultimate celebration we have as Christians.  Easter Sunday, the day Jesus conquered death and with it, our sin.  Lent is a time of preparation we as believers experience through prayer, repentance, and sacrifice or self-denial.

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Self-denial is something we as humans really struggle with,  so deep rooted is it in us to seek our own pleasure.  But when we think of what Christ went through for us, that much love, that much pain endured...it becomes such an act of love to make some sort of small sacrifice in honor of Him.  Many times we only see the self-denial, the rules, the limitations.  We don't see the actual freedom that comes through obedience.  Obedience is hard for me even though I understand it will lead to a greater good.  Probably for many, but definitely for me.  Too many times I choose what I want "for the now" instead of what I need for eternity.  But I am learning.  And thank God He still loves such a beautiful mess as me anyway.

And so this year I am sacrificing sweets, and I'm a little nervous about it.  Lots of people give up sweets for lent, but they probably don't fret much about it.  You may have seen some of the healthy choices I've been making on Facebook and Instagram but don't be fooled,  I am still a hard-core sugar addict.  This is something that frustrates me to no end.  That I in my own power can't get control over it. 

I have given up sweets all-together for lent once before, about 10 years ago.  And have given them up a few times since then but I always built in a cheat for myself knowing how hard it was before.  Saying I'll give up sweets for all the days except Sundays or I'll give up sweets but I can still have one little piece of hard candy after dinner.  It's so foolish, I know.  I'm certainly not proud of this line of thinking.  But this year....this year with His grace I will truly do it.  Because I know that if I truly do it for Him and not for myself then He will provide the strength.  Those years before...I was really just doing it for myself.  To say I gave something up.  That I sacrificed something I love for Jesus.  But I didn't really do it at all.  It was a farce.  I am determined to make a true and honest sacrifice this year for my Lord, and I know He will help me when I call upon Him.

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One of the most difficult times that has caused me problems in the past is that both of my sons celebrate their birthdays during Lent.  It'll be tough to not participate in the birthday ritual of cake and ice cream.  It's easy to make the excuse that it is a special occasion, which indeed it is, but I'm too good at rationalizing.  I can find a  reason that every day is a special occasion ;)  I'm just going to have to focus on the other ways we celebrate and not just the cake an dice cream part.

Do you participate in Lent?  Are you sacrificing anything or perhaps adding something?




*PS - I also like to add something to my life during this season that I don't normally do.  This year I am doing the Renee Swope's "A Confident Heart" daily devotional. I can't wait to see how God will change me by committing to daily time with Him.

finish this | week 8

What a week! It seems like life has been all over the place this week.  It's fun to take a little break and "finish this" :)


1. My favorite comfort food is
Lasagna! Lasagna! Lasagna! That ooey-gooey-cheesy-metly goodness is just oh-so-hard to resist.  Hubsy's recipe is my favorite, he uses cottage cheese instead of ricotta.  And it's a rare treat too because he doesn't make it very often.

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2. My most memorable birthday was
my first birthday party with school friends.  My birthday is in the summer so I never got to celebrate it in school with my class and one year my parents had a party for me at our house with the whole class invited.  It was awesome for me at that young age and it really made me feel super special to be able to have a party with kids other than my cousins.  Most birthdays these days are pretty quiet, definitely no party involved.   Hmmm...maybe I need to remedy that ;)


3. The best karaoke song is
every song!  I am a singer, albeit a terrible one.  I love to belt out pretty much anything.  I used to get embarrassed when I was younger and I would be out running errands with my mom and she would start singing whatever song was on in the store.   I was all 'I don't know this lady, I just happen to be walking beside her'.  She would always laugh at me and tell me I would do the same thing to my kids one day.  And I totally DO!  I love to sing along to any song that's on and watch them roll their eyes at me.  Oh and Hubsy just loves it too, he's always telling me that "Karaoke night isn't until tomorrow" while he tries to mask himself behind his glasses/hand/hat whatever he can find to hide behind. 

4. Boots make me feel
sassy.  Whether it be fashionable knee high boots or hiking boots, they make me feel like I can tackle anything.

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5. I am grateful
for God's faithfulness this past year.  I used to suffer from TMJ pain pretty much daily.  After years of nothing my dentist or doctor recommended working, I finally pursued chiropractics and it has been a literal God-send.  I then began to suffer from significant fatigue and inability to focus.  I finally listened to the inner voice in my head telling me it wasn't just normal "mom-tired".  Went to have blood-work done and found out I was low on iron and been taking supplements ever since which has helped a good bit.  And just when we thought we had no hope of selling our house and moving to our humble hilltop homestead, God stepped in and found a way.  I prayed fervently in all of these areas and God answered, maybe not right away like I wanted ;) ...but in His time.  I am so blessed and so very very thankful for it.

Happy hump day!

link up here!

industrial farmhouse | wall decor

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As more and more painting gets completed at our little country house, we are finally starting to embark on the final touches of decor.  When it comes to making a house feel like a home, it's not until the wall decor begins to go up that it really comes together and feels like your sanctuary.  At least that's how I see it.

Farmhouse style is all about the richness of texture.  The more worn the better!  So I'm sharing some of my inspiration with those of you who enjoy this style of decorating as well.  Got a favorite?

1. DIY LOVE sign
2. old barnwood art
3. fine art photography - autumn
4. aqua bottle wall decor
5. farmhouse wreath
6. primitive candle sconce
7. hanging lantern

Happy Monday friends!
Make it a great week!

DIY body butter

Remember my post about eliminating?  I'm talking toxins here :)

Beauty products are at the top of the list as far as toxic exposure to your body.  I used to think of my skin as armor essentially.  But no, anything that goes on your skin get absorbed directly into your blood stream and bypasses your liver altogether!  Which is why your toxin exposure from beauty products is even more concerning than the ones from the foods you eat. 

Hey beauty products,, you've been warned!  You are first on my list to attack and reclaim health for my body.  Today I thought I'd share a great DIY and all natural (organic even) alternative to body lotion.

Behold the body butter.

It could not be easier and only consists of two ingredients...

 * 1 cup coconut oil (organic if you can)
 * 10-12 drops essential oil of your choice

That's it.  Easy right?  Put the coconut oil in a bowl, add your drops of essential oil (I used eucalyptus for a little pick me up), and mix on high for 6-7 minutes.  Whipping the coconut oil helps to give it a much smoother buttery texture.  The essential oil adds some lovely fragrance and depending on the one you pick can have additional health benefits as well!  Win-win.  Then get yourself a pretty little air-tight jar to keep it in.  I think this sweet mason jar works well don't you? 

Let me know if you give it a try, I'd love to hear your thoughts!