the peaceful perfectionist

via

EXTRA! EXTRA! READ ALL ABOUT IT!

It's no news flash that I am an introvert.  But I seem to have been going through this mid-life crisis of sorts for a year or two now.  I've been very introspective and wanting to learn more about myself so I can live more authentically.  I'm not hiding any more, I've been sharing much more of myself than before.  But the fact remains that I'm an introvert, I need quiet and alone time. So now when I need to pull back and let myself refuel in quiet solitude, I do so without feeling guilty about it because I understand that it is a valid need of mine..

via

I never could resist a good personality quiz so if you know of any, please share!  The following is an excerpt from Renee Swope's "A Confident Heart Devotional" which I started at the beginning of lent.  It's actually taken from Florence Littauer's book "Personality Plus" and I think it is incredibly accurate.  We all have aspects of each of these personality types but most people have one or two that they strongly identify with.

So take a gander at them for yourself.  Which one(s) are you?

Phlegmatic: Desires PEACE
Needs times of quiet, reduced stress, feeling of worth, respect
Strengths                  Relational Challenges
Calm                         Stubborn
Adds balance            Uninvolved
Witty                         Procrastinates
Low-key                   Unenthusiastic
Considerate               Hard to motivate
Reliable                     Denial
Makes peace            Careless

Choleric: Desires CONTROL
Needs appreciation for achievements, opportunity for leadership, participation in decisions
Strengths                 Relational Challenges
Problem solver         Opinionated
Decisive                   Workaholic tendency
Natural leader           Usurps authority
Good organizer         Insensitive
Task oriented           Arrogant
High energy             Manipulative
Excels in crisis          Has a hard time admitting their faults
Confident

Sanguine: Desires FUN
Needs interaction, affection, approval, attention
Strengths                  Relational Challenges
Loves people            Emotional
Friendly                    Dislikes schedules
Exciting                    Makes excuses
Humorous                Gets bored easily
Charming                 Loses track of time
Creative                   Takes on too much
Thrives on activity    Easily distracted
Great storyteller

Melancholy: Desires PERFECTION
Needs understanding, stability, support, space, silence

Strengths                 Relational Challenges
Works well alone      Easily depressed
Planner                     Lacks spontaneity
Organized                 Naively idealistic
Accurate                  Thrifty to extremes
Intuitive                    Doesn’t do well under pressure
Fair                          Perfectionist
Creative                   Hard to please
Empathetic               Discontent
Good with numbers


I am without a doubt a Phlegmatic Melancholy, or as I prefer to think of it....a peaceful perfectionist :)
The "strengths" that best describe me are makes peace, low-key, adds balance, planner, intuitive, fair, empathetic, and creative.  The list of relational challenges that best describes me are probably uninvolved, stubborn, thrifty to extremes, doesn't do well under pressure (I get just a wee bit crabby!), perfectionist, and easily depressed.  Perhaps that doesn't paint the prettiest picture but in all reality these are my instinctive behaviors.  Doesn't mean I can't modify them and that's what I'm working on.  I want to be more involved and relational with people but honestly it does not come naturally.

via

  And I will leave you with a fun little coffee related personality quiz....I'm a latte : )

via

will i ever do something great?

There's so much going on in my heart right now.  I've really been spending a lot of time in reflection and examination of my life and spirit.  One example of something heavy on my heart lately is my purpose. 

Who did God create me to be?
What are my God given gifts?
And how can I use them to glorify God?

Just can't stop with the sunsets at the hilltop homestead :)

For some reason I keep coming back to my job. Am I blessed to have it? Yeppers.  Does it provide for my family? Absolutely.  But does it make good use of my abilities?  Not so much.

I've been researching, and thinking, and doing a whole lot of praying about this.  I have so much more to contribute than what has been so far. With the vast reach of the internet and social media, I now see tons of people accomplishing great things and while it makes my heart happy to see so much of God's love being poured out by others, I tend to feel like I'm watching from the sidelines.

Then I ran across this devotion at Proverbs 31 Ministries.  Take a minute to read it and come on back.

It almost felt like I could have written the first part.  And then this statement truly hit me.

I was under the false impression that if God chose me to accomplish great things for Him, it would include an elaborate theme with plenty of fanfare. - See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/will-i-ever-accomplish-something-great/#sthash.yvXq79Qr.dpuf

"I was under the false impression that if God chose me to accomplish great things for Him, it would include an elaborate theme with plenty of fanfare."

I was under the false impression that if God chose me to accomplish great things for Him, it would include an elaborate theme with plenty of fanfare. - See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/will-i-ever-accomplish-something-great/#sthash.yvXq79Qr.dpuf

I was under the false impression that if God chose me to accomplish great things for Him, it would include an elaborate theme with plenty of fanfare. - See more at: http://proverbs31.org/devotions/devo/will-i-ever-accomplish-something-great/#sthash.yvXq79Qr.dpuf

While looking to use my gifts in a big way, I have been oblivious to how I am already using them on the ground level.  I am quite like the servant with one bag of silver in the Parable of the three servants.  How have I been handling the responsibilities He has already given me? I have been focusing on a big opportunity to use my gifts rather than the small ones I am presented with every day.  They may seem insignificant but nothing escapes the eye of our Lord.  Am I using my abilities to be the wife and mother God has called me to be?  The daughter/sister/friend He has called me to be?  How can I ask Him to use me for more if I do not seek out these His will for me in these quiet moments of routine?

So maybe using my gifts won't come in the form of a new career or business venture.  I must look first to how I am using my gifts within my own home.  Learning to have a heart of thanksgiving and obedience.  The difference we can make in our own homes should not be taken lightly.

May we choose peace when we just want to yell in frustration when our young ones test limits.

May we continually die to our own selfish desires and love on our husbands the way God directs...whether we feel like they deserve it in that moment or not.

May we strive to love each other unconditionally the way that Jesus loves us.

Our "something great" may be little in the eyes of others, but great indeed to our Father's eyes.

His master said to him, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant. You have been faithful over a little; I will set you over much. Enter into the joy of your master.’

where's she been?

Yeah, it's been a little while since I posted.
Where've I been?
Aside from the normal goings on of life (which we'll get to) there has been a lot of analyzing and self-searching going on in this little brain of mine.  And if I'm totally honest, some insecurity too.  You know that lie where you think you need to have it all together to be worth sharing yourself with others?

Yeah, well I mistakenly buy into that from time to time but I'm always reminded that blogging is an outlet for me.  I don't always have something profound to say and that's ok.  This is my place to share my creative loves, my fragile soul and strengthening faith, as well as the little moments that I just don't want to forget.

On that note, here's little bit of what's been brewing at the "Hilltop Homestead" lately. Yep, I've dubbed the new place.  A little idea I stole from my sweet friend Amanda that I'm blessed to have "met" through blogging.  You should go check out her "half-acre-home-on-the-range" and "happy foods" garden over at Chaos and Coffee.

To say we love our new place is a bit of an understatement.  I am obsessed with the fields and skies that I am now blessed to see every day.  The only downfall of our new home is the wind, man it really whips living on the top of a hill!  The crazy disheveled hair it gives me is a small price to pay and Hubsy always liked me in a baseball cap anyway :)

Barns *sigh* I just love 'em!

My favorite field.

Sun setting right through the hole of a dilapidated barn....gorgeous.

The busyness of life has picked up a bit again as we head into spring which means Hubsy will be working all.the.time.  Boo.  These months are hard on us but we do our best to get through them, making memories where we can.

Sometimes a quick card game before bed helps us to unite as a family at the end of the day.

A little adventuring helps too - our first Geocaching experience - we're hooked!

Making our mark to make our new house a home.

Life is a cycle of resting and working, dreaming and growing. The secret is to treasure all of it!

Make it a great week friends ~ There is much to be thankful for and hopeful about!