Nurturing yourself | Self Talk

What does love look like?

Well it can be big like letting someone live with you until they get back on their feet
or it can be small like sharing a smile with a stranger at the grocery store.
While I'm striving to love more on others, I find that I need to love a little on me too.
It honestly fuels me to be even more giving to others.
Its about really trying to be your own best friend.
Often I find it easy to be encouraging to others but not as much to myself.
Really start separating yourself and say "if my best friend was experiencing this what would I tell her?" 

Developing positive self talk is a critical part nurturing yourself.

1.  It starts with awareness.
You need to start paying attention to how you think.
Negative thoughts can creep up like a ninja in the night, you don't even know they're there.
It so easy to think you can't do something or its too difficult but anytime you
catch yourself saying this, turn your "can't" into "can's".
 If you don't believe it is possible then it is definitely impossible.
Become your own personal cheerleader :)

2. Bring on the positive affirmations. 
One way I've done this is to use post-it notes.
I'll write little positive affirmations and stick them on the bathroom mirror, inside a cabinet door,
anywhere you will see them throughout the day.
The key is not to ignore them, when you see it, say it outloud to yourself.
I know, you're worried you'll look like a crazy person saying these things to yourself but really,
aren't you worth it?  Yes, you are!

Alright, say them silently if you must but stop what your doing for
just a split second and truly focus on what it says.

3. Take a look around you. 
What type of people do you spend your time with?
Do you work in a negative environment?  Just close your door, or do you're best not to
chit chat with the complainers.  I'm not saying to be rude to them, just don't prolong
or encourage the negative conversation.  Is there negativity in your house?
Try to sit down with your spouse/family and have an honest discussion about
what the negativity does to you and politely ask for everyone's effort to look on the bright side.
I guarantee everyone will see the benefits immediately.
We have seen this in our own home.
When we're all on board, it's amazing how much happier we all are. 

4. Break it down.  
If your like me, all the responsibilities and commitments come
 crashing down on you and you're freaking out before you know it.  Take a deep breath.
Count to 10 (these really do work!).  Focus on what you can do right now.
This takes the focus off of what you can't control and brings it back onto what you can.
And when you feel like you can achieve some sort of small accomplishment,
you'll feel less overwhelmed and more empowered.

5. Give it to God.
You are a unique being that was created out of pure love.
When you really start to believe that, your life will change.
Pray on it.  Don't be afraid to ask God to help you see yourself as He sees you.
This is something I struggled with for a while, feeling like I was not "worthy" of love,
success, happiness.  But the Truth shall set you free.

I urge you to really reflect on how you speak to yourself and
encourage you to be kind to that girl in the mirror.

I leave you with one final thought....

Happy Wednesday friends!

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Silence and Solitude

 This past week or so I've been discovering the benefits of silence and solitude.  

It can be a rare and treasured thing for moms ;)

About a week ago I hit a low point.  Many of you know I have been dealing with 
some health issues lately but it extends beyond that.  
I realized that I have become a very "distracted" person.  
I say that meaning that nothing seems to have my full focus and attention.  
My thoughts are always churning yet I'm constantly forgetting things.
 I have forgotten how to quiet my mind.

It feels like there is constant demand for my attention and
I crave stillness and respite.

Designating some time to enjoy silence and solitude has become 
a blaringly evident necessity for me.

There's all sorts of "noise" we face every day...

from literal noise, to visual noise to, mental noise...
we need to take a break from it all on occasion.

So what are some ways you can embrace silence and solitude?

These days electronics rule. 
Turn off the radio, TV, iphone, or whatever your electronic "vices" are. 
Find a room in your house where you can be alone for a bit.   
Take some deep breathes and let the silence wash over you.
You will feel lighter and calmer almost instantly.

Clutter can cause a lot of visual disturbance.
You're running late and trying to find your grocery list amongst all the
clutter on your counter...not only does it take you longer to find it 
but you'll probably end up frustrated by the task of having to root
through all that "stuff" as well.   
Find my tips on organizing and tidying up here and here.

Somewhat surprisingly, social media can create a lot of mental noise.
Turn it off and take a break.  All that input can overload your brain.
In all reality most posts are not life altering,
take a break and you can pick right back up when you are feeling a bit more refreshed.

There are several benefits to enjoying daily silence and solitude.

* Promotes Inner Peace ~ Be aware of nothing but the sound of your own breathing.

* Promotes Self-discovery ~ Often your inner voice gets drowned out by all the external chatter.  

Silence can be a way of allowing your inner voice to be heard.
* Energizes you ~ Eliminates all the excess stimuli you receive at every moment.

* Boosts Creativity ~ Engages the "non-thinking" mind.

* Brings Focus and Mental Clarity ~ Your brain is automatically pre-programmed
 to investigate every incoming stimulus, which can make it quite easy to be distracted.
Silence eliminates the distractions.

These have certainly proved true in the past week.
I find I am more focused and becoming more relaxed in general.
I think Hubsy and the boys will also appreciate me being
a little less crazy all the time ;)
 

Do you take time out to be alone and enjoy the silence?

What are some of the ways you seek solace?

*Contributing thoughts found here.