Have you ever had a moment when an image or memory just hits you square in the chest?
Here I sit at my computer with tears stinging my eyes and a lump in my throat.
All from a simple song lyric.
Corn fields swaying, clothes on the line
Tumbleweed is a turnin like the hands of time
"Sugarland" by Sugarland
I don't know why it hit me but it did.
I instantly had a flash of walking under the clothes on our clothesline as a kid and feeling
the fabrics run gently over my raised arms.
I could hear the quiet, and the birds.
See the sun in the sky with just a few clouds here and there.
Feel the gentle breeze and the fabric, and smell the country air.
It brought such a yearning my heart actually hurts a little bit.
A yearning for my childhood.
The house I grew up in.
Our family unit before my parents got divorced.
Wow, it was powerful.
You see I had a wonderful childhood. I grew up on a 3-acre spread of land out in the country. My dad was a banker and my mom was a nurse. My sister and I attended Catholic school "in town". I had my own room with shag yellow carpet. Well it was the '80's after all and yellow was my favorite color :)
Our summer days were spent playing with our neighbor boys that were near our ages,
building forts in the woods, fishing in their pond, and petting the horses.
I may have punched one of them in the gut for trying to kiss my sister but that is beside the point :)
And on the weekends we played all day with our cousins that lived close by. I'm talking about 11 or more of us total. Running around outside, playing on the trails,
and swimming in my grandparents pool.
We had a garden and a German Shepard. I even got to mow the lawn on the tractor which I thought was fun back then. We always had a real Christmas tree that we would plant in the backyard when Christmas was over. My sister and I would sit in front of the oven and sing songs while my mom made cookies and pretended our reflection was us on television.
We rented movies when the VCR first came out.
We watched Solid Gold (I wanted to be a Solid Gold dancer when I grew up -
boy what happened to that one?)
We had a boat and went camping and boating and fishing all the time.
It was simple. It was joyful. It was mine.
And God do I miss it sometimes :)