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Thursday, March 8, 2012

Hey jealousy....I'm so over you

I admit it.  
My heart has been bogged down in the icky muck of jealousy lately, especially in the blog world.
Have you ever found yourself having blogger envy?

I guess it's the accessibility of so many personal lives from blogging that led me to it.  I mean, I think I may know more about some fellow bloggers than I do some "real" people in my life.  Lord knows this type of forum makes me more comfortable to share things about myself than I otherwise would in some cases.  Not that this is necessarily a bad thing.  I just mean that with all this exposure, it's so easy to start comparing yourself to others.   I've found myself getting jealous of lots of things out there.

It begins with the blog itself.  I start thinking that my header is not good enough or maybe my blog doesn't have "the right look".  So I start to feel pressure to redesign.  Nor am I a particularly witty writer.  I get envious of those who write eloquently or humorously.  Should I have more followers?  How do I get more followers?

I follow a lot of ladies who happen to be SAHM's.  Oh the jealousy to be found there!  I find myself thinking if only I didn't have to work, my life would be like theirs.  I could be with my kids all day and write all sorts of posts about parenthood, being a mommy, and the funny things my kids say or do on a daily basis.  I would have time to play games with my kids, clean my house, cook wonderful meals, and work on my jewelry designs.  An image of June Cleaver comes to mind :)  Deep down I know this is not the reality for most of you SAHM's.

Don't even get me started on financial jealousy.  Seeing all the beautifully designed homes, date nights, and trips/vacations that people take makes for a covetous me. I don't like feeling that way.  Not one little bit.

The green-eyed monster has even gotten me on relationships.  See me Hubsy and I can't seem to swing getting in some quality kids-free time just for us. The day-to-day "stuff" is starting to get overwhelming for us.

Simply put, I miss him. 

Not to mention I follow/admire a lot of people who live out their faith in ways that I do not.  Jealous of other people's faith!  Can you believe it?  Sad I know, but I'm keeping it real.  I haven't been feeling like my relationship with God is strong enough.  Like something is missing.  I'm reading the Bible but it still seems like there is so much I don't understand.  Or that there is a deeper message in there somewhere that just hasn't made itself known to me.  And then I read some people's posts that are just so convicted and I begin to doubt my faith.

So I've been praying about it....all of it.  And it has been answered.  A peace has been brought to my heart.  Solace to my mind.  And it all comes back to the Lord.
"Finally, be strong in the Lord and his mighty power.  Put on the full armor of God, so that you can take your stand against the devil's schemes."
~Ephesians 6:10-11

Dear Jealousy,
You are no good for me.  There is no room for you in my life.  I have been blessed beyond measure and I will not let you continue to rob me of any more joy.   I'm so over you jealousy.  I know your a tough one and won't give up so easily but believe me, you will not win.


  1. I think we all are SO guilty of this. I get jealous when I see someone who had thousands of followers and think, "what do they have that I don't?" I found there are some mommy forum to specifically get more readers and connect with other mommies if you want to try it out. One is http://www.mombloggersclub.com/ the other is http://www.mombloggersclub.com/. I think you're a great writer and offer the world a great perspective and positive outlook. I am definitely jealous when I see people with more money, great crafting ability and nice clothes. I try to remember that I have so much and I AM thankful everyday.

  2. Oops... just realized I posted the same URL. The other is http://www.bloggymoms.com/

  3. Jealous is the hardest thing to tackle! Seriously! I used to get such blog jealous of all the sweet and romantic things other blogger's husbands/boyfriends/fiances did for them on a day-to-day basis. And it would drive me crazy. So I've started to tell myself "stop comparing" so that I can ensure that I don't keep comparing. The reason I get jealous is because of the comparing. Maybe they do romantic things, but do they make me laugh the way M does? No. Do they give me a random kiss on the shoulder that gives me butterflies? Nope. So I'm with you on this whole envy/jealousy thing. And what's been working for me is to stop comparing... Now that's an essay for ya lol

  4. I know I've felt this before as have a lot of other bloggers. I've come to peace with what I do on my blog. I wish I had tons to followers, a beautiful design, etc. etc. but I've come to terms and am ok with my small little blog doing whatever I want to do. I can't believe that what I have to say is interesting to some people so just the fact that I have more than one follower, I'm humbled. You also have to remember that bloggers choose what they want to share, I think that is key. Don't worry, you'll find your place. :)

  5. You put into words what MANY of us are dealing with on a regular basis. I won't even go into the jealousies I'm guilty of, but I'm so thankful you posted this. And I'm also VERY thankful that your prayers were answered!! You're such a wonderful person, Krista! And I'm so glad I have "met" you thru the blog world!

  6. You did it. You actually did it! You are my hero :)

  7. girl! i especially get annoyed when i read blogs that say their house isn't perfect and then proceed to show their magazine-like decorated house. ha!

    comparison kills contentment. that is something i have to tell myself over and over and over. and then over and over. we all struggle with these very same things. you are not alone. our God redeems us, though!

  8. Love this post. I think we ALL need to remember that jealousy never helps. I struggle with this one, as much as anyone hates to admit it. Thanks for being real! Love your blog. Newest reader!

  9. I have found myself jealous at times or a lot of times. I would love to be a SAHM, but it just is not possible for me and I had to accept that a long time ago. I am now in a place where I absolutely love my job and would feel unstable without it. I am jealous of the women who are madly and deeply in love with their husbands. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband to no end, but I have no time for him and our relationship suffers because of it. I have just recently had to get on medication for anxiety because I was having a lot of anxiety attacks for unknown reasons because I'm not panicing over anything. Anyawy... it is very easy for bloggers to document their perfect lives because a lot of them do not blog about the ugly. You know? I would love to have a lot more readers on my blog and I could, but I have not shared my blog with one person that I know in real life. I am too scared to. I'm afraid to be judged. I haven't even shared it with my mother. lol

    Anyway... this comment is to let you know how much I appreciate you. I love reading your comments. Thank you so much for reading my blog. ((HUGS))


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